Please forgive me for wining but I can't help it right now. I've been staring at my screen for awhile now trying to figure out what is new and what I could update you on. I can't think of anything to write on though, I wish I could but all I think about is how I wish Sean were home.
He got sent back to Nevada back in September (21st to be exact) and was there for a little over 2 weeks. He came back for about 3 days and then he had to leave again. I miss him so much and I am so lonely. I wish I had someone here to talk to when I come home at night. I wish I could talk to Sean more than 20 minutes a day.
I invited a couple of people over the other night and I talked... A LOT. I felt so bad but when you only have yourself to talk to it's hard to stop when real people come around. Anyways, long story short I don't think the guy likes me very much, ok honestly they started talking the second I shut my door (my balcony door was wide open, my stairwell echos really bad, and I heard EVERYTHING) so I KNOW he doesn't like me that much. But I couldn't care less, one day when he is married and has to leave his wife for weeks at a time he will understand what I am going through. I do apologize for talking so much lately... at school, at church, anywhere there are other people. If there has been a time when I talked to much around you please forgive me.
OH Sean, I miss you so much. Your arms around me, pulling me close and holding me tight. Your smile, your laugh, and your eyes. I miss snuggling on the couch after a long day knowing that you're there if I need someone to talk to. I miss our wishful thinking conversations, our what the future holds for us conversations, and your encouraging words when I want to give up. I miss the feeling that nothing will happen to me because you are next to me and I miss being able to bury my face when I am scared. Most of all though I simply miss having you in the same room as me. You are truly the perfect man for me, no one else would have lasted with my weird corks and little habits. I love you so much.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
So very Lonely
Posted by Ta'Mera at 10:13 PM
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6 comments:
Hey! It was so good to see you the other day! We need to do a fun girls night out or something fun really soon...for real!
You can call and talk to me anytime, I get lonely myself:)
Hey, I'm sorry that Sean is out of state! That's gotta be so hard. We live pretty close to each other now so if you ever want to hang out or talk or anything, let me know!! Love ya!
I am so sorry, dear. I know what lonely feels like, and I can only imagine what it's like with you and Sean being married, and him being gone for so long. I hope that it all works out and that he comes back soon.
On the bright side, I also loved reading this post because it shows how in love you both still are. I'd be worried if you didn't miss him that much, if you didn't feel so terribly lonely. I'm glad that you are both so perfect for each other and that no matter what this life holds, you'll have him forever. :)
I love you, girl! Call me or post me a message and we can play sometime. Call if you need to talk. I'm pretty decent at listening. ;)
Come on up to Brigham and stay at my house. You will never be lonely here... Never... Really, even if you wanted to, you can't....Not even in the bathroom... nowhere. Really, Stop in any time:)
Totally know what you're talking about!! I talk Nels' ear off when he comes home. So much so that if I go grocery shopping I feel I need to tell him all the things I bought. It's hard feeling alone. You can call me anytime, or text.
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